Obscenity In The Bible

SEX AND OBSCENITY IN THE BIBLE

GENESIS 17:9-14 Circumcision mandated
GENESIS 19:1-8 Rape virgins instead of male angels
GENESIS 19:30-38 Righteous man impregnates his 2 daughters while drunk
GENESIS 24:2-3, 9 Place your hand “under the thigh” (sexual organs) of someone swearing sacred oaths
GENESIS 25:1-6 Keeping mistresses is not adultery
GENESIS 32:25 God grabs Jacob’s testicles
GENESIS 34:1-31 Brothers are riled when sister is defiled
GENESIS 35:2 Reuben sleeps with father’s concubine
GENESIS 38:1-10 Onan’s method of birth control not approved
GENESIS 38:12-30 Tamar plays the harlot to seduce father-in-law
GENESIS 39:1-20 Women tries to rape man
GENESIS 47:29 Joseph ordered to place his hand under father’s thigh
EXODUS 20:26 God specifies building of altar to prevent exposure of nakedness
EXODUS 22:19 Death decreed for bestiality
EXODUS 33:17-23 God moons Moses
NUMBERS 31:1-18; 28-47 God commands genocide of Midianites, Moses orders that virgins be kept, other captives slain
NUMBERS 5:11-31 God’s fidelity test for women only
LEVITICUS 12:1-8 Bible calls childbirth a sin and bearing females a greater sin than bearing males
LEVITICUS 15:16-18 Sperm and intercourse are unclean
LEVITICUS 15:19-33 Menstruation unclean; elaborate rules
LEVITICUS 15:29-30 Women must make sin offering for menstrual periods
LEVITICUS 18:22 Homosexuality declared an abomination
LEVITICUS 18:23 More bestiality
LEVITICUS 19:1,20-22 Man gets forgiven, slave girl gets flogging
LEVITICUS 20:10 Adulterers shall be put to death
LEVITICUS 20:13 Death decreed for homosexuals
LEVITICUS 20:15-16 Death decreed for bestiality (& beast)
LEVITICUS 26:29 Curse: Eat your sons and daughters
DEUTERONOMY 3:1-7 Kill men, women, & children
DEUTERONOMY 21:10-14 God okays captured maidens as trial wives
DEUTERONOMY 22:5 Men’s clothing not to be worn by women, & vice versa
DEUTERONOMY 22:13-21 A bride not a virgin must die
DEUTERONOMY 22:23-26 Virgin raped in city given no pity
DEUTERONOMY 23:12-14 Defecation: Carry paddle, dig hole, & cover up
DEUTERONOMY 25:5-10 Woman has cause to spit in man’s face
DEUTERONOMY 25:11-12 A woman shall have her hand cut off for touching a penis
DEUTERONOMY 22:28-29 Paying father to have sex with daughter
DEUTERONOMY 23:1 Man “wounded in the stones” can’t enter congregation
DEUTERONOMY 23:2 Children born out of wedlock condemned as bastards to 10th generation
DEUTERONOMY 23:10-11 Cleanliness called for in nocturnal emissions
DEUTERONOMY 24:1 Man can divorce wife through eviction
DEUTERONOMY 28:27 Hemorrhoids (“emerods”) punishment for sin
DEUTERONOMY 28:30 Lord’s curse: Another man shall lie with groom’s bride first
DEUTERONOMY 28:53-57 Curse: Eat your own body & children
JUDGES 3:20-22 Dagger in fat king’s gut gets “dirt” out
JUDGES 4:4-22 Hammer & nail murder by woman
JUDGES 8:30 Gideon had many wives, concubines
JUDGES 11:29-40 Jephtha’s daughter: human sacrifice
JUDGES 19:1-30 Woman raped and ruined by homosexuals
JUDGES 21:6-25 Amidst carnage virgins captured for wives
RUTH 3:6-9 To “hook” him as husband, Ruth sleeps with Boaz
RUTH 4:9-10 Boaz buys Ruth
I SAMUEL 5:9-12 Philistines “smitten with emerods” as punishment for stealing ark
I SAMUEL 6:1-5 To placate God, make golden emerods
I SAMUEL 15:3 God orders Saul to kill suckling babes
I SAMUEL 18:23-27 200 foreskins gain David a king’s daughter
I SAMUEL 25:22,34 Any that pisseth against the wall
II SAMUEL 3:7 More concubine hanky-panky
II SAMUEL 11:1-27 Uriah sent to lose his life so David can get his wife
II SAMUEL 12:7-12 Obscene performance to be viewed by all Israel
II SAMUEL 5:13 David had many wives, concubines
II SAMUEL Chapter 13 Amnon rapes his sister
II SAMUEL 16:20-23 Absalom copulates with father’s concubines on rooftop
II SAMUEL 20:3 David imprisons concubines for above
I KINGS 1:1-4 Virgin as therapy for sick old man unsuccessful
I KINGS 11:1-10 Wise Solomon has wives and concubines galore
I KINGS 14:10 Him that pisseth against the wall
I KINGS 16:11 One that pisseth against a wall
I KINGS 21:21 Him that pisseth against the wall
II KINGS 6:24-33 “So we boiled my son, and did eat him”
II KINGS 9:8 Subject not mentioned in sermons
II KINGS 23:7 Male houses of prostitution destroyed
I CHRONICLES 1:32-33 Abraham’s concubines have children
II CHRONICLES 11:21 King Rehoboam had 18 wives & 60 concubines
ESTHER Chapters 1-2 Sexual contest to decide new queen
SONG OF SOLOMON (the whole thing!)
ISAIAH 3:16 “…and the Lord will discover their secret parts”
ISAIAH 9:20 Every man shall eat the flesh of his own arm
ISAIAH 14:21-22 Slaughter children for fathers’ iniquity
ISAIAH 16:11 Biblical boast: “My bowels shall sound like an harp”
ISAIAH 36:12 Eating dung and drinking piss
JEREMIAH 16:4 Grievous, obscene deaths
LAMENTATIONS 2:19 Something to lament
LAMENTATIONS 4:10 Women boil children for food
EZEKIEL 4:12-15 God says: Eat bread defiled with dung
EZEKIEL 5:8-10 What’s for dinner?
EZEKIEL 8:2 Lord’s loins make guest appearance
EZEKIEL 16:15 Fornications pour out
EZEKIEL 16:36-37 Their “filthiness poured out…”
EZEKIEL 23:1-40 Sex organs and ejaculate of harlots’ lovers compared to asses & horses
EZEKIEL 29:7-8 God performs bloody castration via a sword
HOSEA 1:2-11 God tells Hosea to take whore to wife
HOSEA 2:1-15 Complications ensue (lewdly described)
NAHUM 3:4-6 Lord: “I will discover thy skirts upon thy face”
MALACHI 2:1-4 An angry god will spread feces on your faces
MATTHEW 5:27-30 A man may lust but it’s not considered just
MATTHEW 5:31-32 Man can divorce wife for fornication only
MATTHEW 19:3-9 Man who divorces and remarries is adulterer
MATTHEW 19:12 Castrate yourself for Jesus
MATTHEW 22:24 Law of Onan (you have to marry your dead brother’s wife)
LUKE 2:21 Eight day old Jesus is circumcised
ACTS 5:38 Eunuch baptized
ACTS 15:24 Circumcision is not commandment
ACTS 16:3 Paul circumcises adult
ROMANS 1:26-32 Gay men and lesbians “worthy of death”
I CORINTHIANS 6:18-20 Abstain from sex
I CORINTHIANS 7:1-40 To be more holy, refrain from sex wholly
I CORINTHIANS 7:18-19 If you’re not circumcised, stay that way
GALATIANS 5:1-4 Paul speaks against circumcision
REVELATION 17:1-6 A whore is stripped, eaten and burned